The weekend was easier than expected. My mom and I went to see Butch on Saturday. No, we did not tell him anything as I don't want him to get agitated. It is just not necessary. I will tell him more as the need arises. I keep hoping that ultimately there will be nothing to tell. That's my story and for the moment I'm sticking with it.
I have had several calls this morning. Leslie, the breast care coordinator, called to set up my surgeons appointment. She called at 8:03AM and I was awake, but was still snuggling under the covers with Kasey. She is such a warm little dog!! I love her. Gave her the name of the doctor that was recommended, who by the way will only take you if you have never seen any other surgeon before because she doesn't fix other doctors screw-ups. The ball is now rolling. She called me back by 9:30AM to say that my appointment is for Wednesday, November 4. That is only a little over two weeks away. I was expecting something much further out, but I guess Leslie wanted me seen this week. Dr. C's(this is what I'm calling her for right now)office is putting me on a waiting list in case of any cancellations. Personally, I think if this things been lurking around in my body for two plus years, what's another two weeks, but anyway......that's where we are with that.
I have an appointment with an attorney for Friday afternoon. I need to get some personal things in order and this has made me want to get that ball rolling as well. Butch made some statements to me ironically this weekend that really got my mind whirling. Something to the effect of "well, if you died I would sell the house and Jessica would have to take care of herself". Can I just say WTF?!?!?!?! I know he isn't mentally competent, but still......I guess somewhere along the line the old issue of "Janice just wants your check" has been put in his mind and this popped out. First off, your so called check isn't enough to pay everything, that is why I have always worked. Furthermore, I also want to keep the house because it is my child's only home and I want her to have it one day. That's what I thought we worked for. Personally, I could walk out the door of that house and what I want out of it would probably fit in my car and his statement really, really pissed me off. I know it shouldn't, but it did, and coming on Saturday after Fridays news, it just threw me for a loop. Kind of one of those out of the blue statements. Soooooo, whatever assets that I do have, I want them to benefit my child. End. Over. Done. Enough said.
I get to see the dentist this afternoon for a routine teeth cleaning. Gee, one of my other favorite things in life. I guess I will put off that crown until after the first of the year. The money just won't be there, at least right now. Got the copays coming up for the looming surgery and so forth, so the tooth will have to wait until after tax refund time. That's ok though because I really wasn't looking forward to the crown and I think the filling is doing fine the way it is.
Other than that, I didn't do a whole lot this weekend. Went to a lovely 50th anniversary luncheon for a friend's parents at the Renaissance Hotel in downtown Portsmouth on the waterfront.
The weather sucked, but the room we were in(see pic) overlooked the river and it was cloudy and blustery, but all in all a nice afternoon. I guess that's one milestone I will never celebrate. Probably lucky to have made it to twenty. It made me a little nostalgic, but really it's not like my marriage was all wine and roses. Sometimes, that's what's so hard is that it's nice to be alone but then again there are times that I miss having someone else around to share things with. I guess you can't have it both ways, and maybe I'm just meant to be alone or alone with the kids, I should say. I like having grilled cheese, or ham and cheese sandwiches for dinner. I like not having to answer anymore about where I'm going or what I'm doing or how long I'm going to be. I like not having to cook dinner every night or feel like I'm responsible for somebody else's happiness. I'm just saying.....
So, that's where we are today. Tomorrow, I don't know. I am taking this one step at a time, one minute at a time for right now.