Wednesday, July 22, 2009

If you want a laugh for the day???

Then check out this blog that I stumbled across here, needless to say, I am now a follower. Check it out and enjoy!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Easy come, easy go especially when you go to the dentist!

Money that is!! I went to the dentist on Friday and back again today and now I have another appointment in August. Can I say that I hate the dentist? Not literally, really I love Dr. Holton but I hate, hate, hate going to the dentist. I find it very painful and I just don't like it. Friday and today I had to have a VERY deep cleaning, like below the gum line deep and now the Novocaine is wearing off and the side of my face is kind of numb and when I drink my afternoon coffee, it is dripping out the side of my mouth. Lovely!!!

I have to go back in August, because right before my Florida trip, as in the day before, I had a tooth break apart. Of course now that has to be refilled and capped. There goes another $1000! Who can I complain to about this? Can I protest??? I considered just having it pulled, but it is kind of visible to the side and personally I like having teeth and I'm just not ready to go there yet. Of course, I could be like my father and just pull my own teeth, but I don't have the stomach for that. Did I say before that I don't like pain? His version of dental care is to take a pain pill, have a shot of whiskey, go outside in the bright sunshine, position the side mirror on his truck, take a pair of pliers and yank out the offending tooth. I don't quite have the testicles for that one. Of course, I don't have testicles either, but I have always coveted them. I would like a great big gold set myself. Just to say that I have them.(LOL, I'm trying to be nice in saying things like this in my usual smart*ss way)

See, one more thing that makes my dad a redneck. Speaking of my dad and the crazy stuff he pulls I do have another interesting story that he did this week, which I find quite humorous. As I have mentioned before, my dad lives in a very small town in the rolling hills of Virginia, and do I mean SMALL!! It's the type of place where everyone knows everyone and all are always trying to be in someones business. Typical small town atmosphere. Well, my brother, Scott is one of the co-owners of his business Kinex(pronounced connects). One of the other owners is Jim G. who has a son named Andrew. Anyways, Andrew has never met my dad but my dad is aware of Andrew. Last week, my dad goes to the McDonalds(which is THE happening place in Dillwyn, BTW) and sees Andrew getting out of one of the Kinex trucks. He proceeds to walk up to Andrew and the following conversation ensues.

Clyde(my dad)- "Do you know Scott Chidester?
Andrew - "yes, yes I do"
Clyde - Well you know he's gay. (see this is my dad trying to stir the pot up in this small burg of a place, no offense to the gay community here! If you want to get someone gossiping there you can talk about their sexual orientation or say that they are having sex with someone other than their spouse, as long as SEX is in the so called gossip it will fly all over town because these people have nothing better to do with their lives)
Andrew - "Uh, no, no he's not. He's married"
Clyde - "Do you know Jim G?" My father says in return knowing full well it's Andrews dad.
Andrew - "Why, yes sir, I do"
Clyde - "Well, he's gay too" and then proceeds to walk away.

Needless to say, Scott then gets a call from Andrew and Andrew then tells him "Uh, Scott? Does your dad drive a silver T-bird?" Scott replies in the affirmative and Andrew proceeds to tell Scott what he pulled. So typical of Clyde. He has nothing better to do than to cause discontent in the community. Just like the time my dad and Butch went into the Radio Shack in Farmville to buy batteries or something. The clerk asked my dad for his phone number and my dad proceeded to say he didn't have a phone because he lived in the dipsty dumpster behind Food Lion. The clerk was speechless and Butch wanted to sink in the floor.

I guess I come from a long line of smart*sses. At least it gives us all something to talk about.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Help me, please!!! I can't afford to die.....

You heard me right. I simply cannot afford it. It costs too much to die. Of course, those that read yesterdays post know that I spent the afternoon pre-arranging funerals. WOW!!!! What an eye-opener. Bottom figure from opening the grave to the laying of the marker total price is $9300 and that is good for 60 days. Oh, and that is when you already own the plots. Trust me. I was my good old tightwad self in there. The casket was the third cheapest offered. The vault, which is required in our area was the second cheapest. This is for a grave side ceremony with only limited viewing. Nothing spectacular, no limos, no extras, just bare bones(sorry for the bad pun) cheap and what will there be to show for it? It's a good thing that Butch and I had had this conversation about what he wanted because otherwise he may have gotten the Janice version of just a cremation and hand me over in a cardboard box which is $1500. That still galls me to no end and hopefully I can find someone that I can donate my body to and save even more money. Hey, I will be dead, I won't know and sure won't care!

I know I sound like a bitch but for petes sake. That is almost two years of tuition for Jessica at college. That could be a decent used car for us as our cars are 14 and 17 years old. Gee, my heating system is fifty-two years old(yes, it is the only one in my neighborhood that is original) and every year when I do light it, which is only when I run out of wood to burn in our wood stove insert, I say a quick prayer that A) it will light, and B) it will not blow up and I'm not even religious. That money would put a new heating and air conditioning system in the house. I get a $1 yogurt parfait at McDonald's some mornings. Let's say I get three a week, that would pay for my yogurt parfaits for almost SIXTY FRIGGIN YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!! I know, I know, you can't really hear the humor in my typing, but trust me, I'm really being humorous here because it's just the way that I deal with things.

Poor Mr. Miller at the funeral home. I had him soooooo confused. Here I was, wandering around the casket samples making some really bad jokes. He just wasn't there in my frame of mind and didn't get it. I guess he just usually has the grief stricken family and in be-bops me making price comparisons and asking if they have a secret underground tunnel under the boulevard that they send the bodies through to their crematorium across the street. I know, sick! He must have finally got it though because just before I left, he stopped and told me that actually they had thought an overhead tube would work to send the bodies over but they didn't think the neighbors would have liked it. See, the crematorium was formerly a Bank of Virginia, therefore you know those tubes you send your deposits in at the bank, well that's where that one came from. I guess he understood me more than I realized.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Death and Pre-planning funerals

I had already started another blog post regarding this subject but it was turning into a book so I'm gonna start all over again. Sometimes you just have to toss something out the window and rethink everything. That's what I'm going to do today.

As has been in the news with celebrities and Hollywood, death has been here and it just creeps up and hits you when you least expect it. My friend, Kathy lost someone very dear and close to her last week. Actually, he died the week before and it was due to suicide. A week passed before his body was discovered. Kathy was the person that kept trying to alert his mom that something was wrong. Her friend, H (as I will call him), was the person that introduced us. He was just an acquaintance to me, but to her, he was so much more. Kathy and H had dated for several years. She loved him and still loved him but realized that they couldn't be together. He moved to South Carolina and she stayed here. They were not good for each other. He had some pretty big issues and unfortunately those issues ultimately caused his death. I have hated that Kathy has had to go through this and I know that it is something that she will never get over. Deep down I know that she still loves him and always will.

Anyways, what was also unfortunate in this situation was that H had an ex-wife that he was NOT divorced from and no will. His body lay in the morgue for over a week because his parents could not get in touch with his ex-wife as she was the one that had to give her permission to release to the parents because technically she was still his wife. Of course all of this got me thinking. What if something happened to me? Butch couldn't make arrangements. What would Jessica do? Furthermore, what happens to the house if something happens to me? Would the state force Jessica out and sell it for his care? So many questions that I still don't have answers for but there are some things I can take care of until I get them answered. One of those is pre-arranging our funerals.

I guess this decision to pre-arrange was also prompted by a call from the facility. Butch is not doing well. He is getting out of bed less and less. I'm not really surprised here because the last two visits to see him, by the time we took him out for lunch and a short Wal-Mart outing, he came back to the facility and was totally wiped out. In fact, I had just told Jessica that I didn't know how much longer he would even be able to go out. He just doesn't have the energy or stamina anymore. This is to be expected but when it actually happens it is still a shock. I called the funeral home that is close to us and that we have had limited dealings with and did make arrangements between the facility and the funeral home that upon his death that Sturtevants will pick up his body. At the same time, I made an appointment for this afternoon to pre-arrange his funeral. I guess at the same time I will inquire about mine as well.

This is something though that Butch and I have talked about over the years so at least I know his wishes. He already had his plots at the cemetery so at least that is paid for and done. He always said he wanted a funeral and a burial and I always promised him that I would do that. I, on the other hand would rather have my body donated to Eastern Virginia Medical School if possible, after all other organs, tissues, etc have been harvested for transplant. I DO NOT want to be buried. I would prefer cremation and then to have my ashes scattered from the point in front of my Great-Grandparents house in Buckingham County. My parents now own this farm. It always takes my breath away. Isn't this such a peaceful spot? It brings to mind something that I read long ago and I always liked.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!

- Mary Frye

This afternoon is going to be hard but it must be done. I cannot in good conscience
leave this for someone else to take care of because we never really know what tomorrow will bring. Just because Butch is sick and older does not mean that he will die first. I would not want to leave this all for Jessica to untangle. Think of me this afternoon and please send good thoughts my way so that I will have the strenth that I need to do this. Everytime that I think I am brave, that my mind is in the right place something hits me and knocks me back a little. It always makes me doubt and wonder. "Am I doing the right thing? Should I be doing something more?" That is life though, just pick yourself up, look forward and take that next step.