Two More Weeks

Well, that's the news tonight. I have to wait another two more weeks for a more definitive answer.

I really liked Dr. C today. She was really to the point. She is a no nonsense kind of person and I respect that. To make a long story short, the breast biopsy is scheduled for next Friday, November 13th and along with the breast biopsy, she is also doing a biopsy of the lymph node under my arm. The lymph nodes are swollen, so I guess just in case, we will find out if there is lymph involvement instead of having to wait. I wish that it was this Friday, but she is going out of town until Monday and since she only does biopsies on Friday, well..............the 13th is the soonest.

Once the biopsies are complete, we then have to wait on the pathology report, which takes 3-4 business days. She said either herself or her nurse will be calling me. After working in the medical field, I already know that if I get the call from the nurse, the news will probably be good and if I get a call from Dr. C. well, the news will probably be not so good.

I'm trying to keep my spirits upbeat, but to be honest, it is hard. This waiting is driving me crazy. I had to break down last week and call my primary care M.D. for something for sleep. The lack of sleep was making things worse, so I did that, and got something for those nights when I'm still tossing and turning at 4AM. I also called today and asked for a refill of Lorazepam, an anti-anxiety med. I hate to use it, but I haven't had to in many months, and it's not like I depend on it all the time. It just helps take the edge off when I'm having one of those panicky moments that seem to hit quite unexpectedly.

So, that's where things stand tonight. Yes, I have had a few tears today. I'm sure I will have many more in the days to come. I just hate how things will be fine one moment, and I will have a little hiccup the next. I have been told this is normal. I want this over with, but no matter how much I push and stress, it is not going to change a darned thing. I may as well buckle up and hold on for the ride. Personally though, this is one ride where I want to shout "Please stop the car and let me out!!!" Guess I can't do that, huh? But I sure would like to.