Here We Go Again

Well, it's 6:46AM and I'm blogging about my woes. I got a call from the facility this morning and Butch has been readmitted to the hospital with more chest pains. He was just in there in September with a heart attack. I am currently unaware if his enzyme levels are showing a heart attack or if it's just unstable angina. I don't know yet. I guess at this time, I don't know what road we are going down as far as a possible cardiac cath vs stent vs bypass. I can't keep letting this go on, so I will let the physicians make this decision. I do know it is dangerous with his blood clotting condition for him to have cardiac bypass and this can also effect his dementia. When his father had bypass many years ago, he suffered a stroke afterwards that left him in ICU for three months with many long term issues.

I feel very torn. I was just there yesterday, and spent the day with Butch. He seemed in a pretty good place for the moment, but I do see signs that we are getting ready to go back in a downward phase of his dementia. He is getting anxious and edgy. It's hard to explain unless you know him well.

As far as my upcoming appointment with the breast surgeon, I have just been counting down the days until I see her. My appointment is Wednesday, and no matter what, I can't put it off. I may have to depend on Jessica to be in N.C. with her dad if they do proceed with a surgical option. It will do both of us no good if I don't get some kind of an answer as far as whether or not these masses in my breast are benign or malignant.

I was just thinking last night about posting, but my mind has not been in a good place. I'm not making any plans for even next week, because I need to see what this is all going to bring. I have been trying to keep my thoughts positive, as I have read that 80% of biopsies are benign. I hope for once my luck will be good. Maybe I can manage to be in the 80% and not the other 20%.

Jessica herself, has been out of work since Tuesday. She was diagnosed with an Upper Respiratory Infection, which has since turned into bronchitis. I was afraid it might be the flu since she was not getting any better but when she went back to the doctor yesterday, they did do some blood tests and it is NOT the flu. Thank goodness! She has been miserable though and now Lewis has it too. That's what he gets for kissing on her when she is sick!

On a lighter note, when I went to NC yesterday, I took Lewis' sister, April, with me and her daughter Kaitlyn too. Kaitlyn always likes to see her "Uncle Butch" and she was as cute as ever. On the way down, we kept passing cotton fields and we were trying to explain to her about cotton. We told her that her clothes were made of cotton. I actually stopped at one point and ran out into a field and picked her a cotton boll so that she could see it. Later, at Wal Mart, we were strapping her in her car seat and she popped out with "My shirt is made of cotton candy!!" We got so tickled and said "Not cotton candy baby, just cotton, like on Q-Tips and cotton balls!" She is something else. I can't believe she is only going to be three next week.

Well, I'm going to try to lay back down and get a little more rest. Please send good thoughts my way this week. It going to be hard from all ends. I'm trying to stay positive, yet also prepare myself in case in doesn't turn out the way I want. Why can't life only bring one issue at a time? My shoulders are not quite broad enough to tote this load. I know, take it one step at time.